Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
