Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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