she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I need to stop coming to work sober
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
