Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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