you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He? As in you personified your dick?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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