What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
