I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
