If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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