also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize