Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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