Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
