Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
