I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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