hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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