i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The air taste purple.
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