It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
