I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I stole a fireplace last night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
