I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
