I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
