I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
