I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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