Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
being pregnant is like rehab
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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