i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
