Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
