put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
