i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
