We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
