do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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