just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
