he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
