the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
