I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
