the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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