They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
