No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
