i can't believe i had my finger in that
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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