On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
PANTIES FOUND
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