Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
