i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
How external is "for external use only"?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
