Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
