O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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