My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
