Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
