whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
