Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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