Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
