we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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