Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's blow job season.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I can't turn off my feet"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
