how can u be prego again
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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