This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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