I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize