Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
