Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
