look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
