You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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