Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
