I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
