she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
