Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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