i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
