Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
