she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
