Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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