i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
