I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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