Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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