i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
